On January 1, 2009, I made a new year's resolution that many people make every year - lose weight. At that point, I could no longer fit into the clothes available at most stores. Shortly before the start of the new year, I had finally broken down and started shopping at the "big girl" stores. I knew my weight had gotten out of control, so it was time to make the resolution and actually stick to it. But to lose weight, I had to first figure out my starting point; for me, the key to losing weight has always been about the goal. So on January 1, 2009, I stepped on the scale. At 259.5 pounds, I stared at the scale in disgust. I knew I had gotten overweight, but was I really 259.5 pounds? I rubbed my eyes, and sure enough, the scale still displayed that awful number. I calculated my Body Mass Index (BMI), and OMG, I was considered "obese." And not just obese, I mean like off-the-charts obese. According to the index, if you have a score of 30.0 or higher, you are considered obese. I was 37.2. That's right - 37.2. I sat down on the couch and literally burst into tears. How had I done this to myself? The saddest part of that moment was that my instinct reaction to make myself feel better about being excessively obese was to run out and get myself an ice cream cone.But I didn't. I didn't eat ice cream for several months after that day. Even as I sit here today, I cannot remember the last time I ate ice cream. Instead of eating ice cream, I went out and bought myself the "healthy" stuff. I resolved to lose 90 pounds, which would put me within the "normal" BMI.
Over the course of the next 11 months, I ate things like lean cuisines, instant oatmeal, chicken, and an occasional piece of fruit. For a beverage, I drank diet coke. I also worked out. I started out slowly - first 25 minutes on the bike all the way up to an hour on high impact machines like the treadmill. On November 4, 2009, I accomplished my goal - 90 pounds lost, 168.5 pounds, 24.2 BMI. Today, I weigh 150 pounds, 21.5 BMI.
Now don't get me wrong - I am happy I lost all that weight. I am like a new woman, and that is not an exaggeration. People seriously don't recognize me if they haven't watched my steady progression. Even people who have watched the steady progression do double takes every now and then. And I was so excited to learn that I had been crowned Member of the Month at my gym for my accomplishment. But I am very mindful of the fact that the way I lost all that weight was probably not the healthiest. My sole focus was the bottom line - CALORIES. I restricted my calories to 1200 or so, and didn't deviate much from that. My whole mentality was based on the "calories in, calories out" approach. But now I realize that calories are just a piece of a very complex puzzle, and focusing only on calories and not anything else was probably why I often felt hungry or deprived. I'm not saying I was starving myself, but I just never felt satisfied. The reason - bad food choices. Now that I am at where I want to be, I want to leave the scale and the calorie counting behind. Honestly, the process of calorie counting is tedious and plays way too much into my obsessive compulsive side.
So many people lose a lot of weight on diets but ultimately gain it back because it was just a "diet" - not a life change. For me, this is a life change. I'm not looking back. However, I need the right tools to make the right choices, to not live and die by the bottom line, and to not always feel hungry. The key to that is better nutrition.
Now I will be honest - for someone like me, this is going to be a tough challenge. I am a plain eater, and I did not grow up eating healthy. Peas and Corn are my universe of vegetables. I grew up eating white bread, fried foods, pizza, ice cream (pretty much any "unhealthy" food you can think of). I have a very restricted comfort zone - I don't like fish, I don't like vegetables, I don't like ethnic food. But I do know one thing. Those likes and dislikes have been ingrained in me since a young age, and I have not even attempted to broaden my horizons since reaching adult hood. So this blog will chronicle my journey into the unknown - the REAL healthy food.
I have spent the last 15 months battling food - this is the day I start embracing it.
I was one of the many surprised (and proud) of you when you announced you had reached your goal. However, reading about how you did it is kinda scary. Sure I'm impressed with your sheer determination but wow. I'm glad to see that you are willing to expand your boundaries. I've learned over the last few years that most of the food I thought I didn't like, was mostly because I had never had it prepared well. Mostly, it was over cooked vegetables, give them another shot, find a chef or cookbook that you trust (meaning you like most of the recipes in it, one of mine is The Art of Simple Food by Alice Waters) and enjoy yourself. If you are looking for some reading help I suggest Food Matters by Mark Bittman and pretty much everything by Michael Pollan. If you don't have time for everything by him though, start with "Food Rules." It is only like $5 and boils down his eating philosophy into easy rules to follow.
ReplyDeleteAmanda, your feat is incredibly impressive. I'm happy to read that you view this as a LIFE CHANGE, and not a diet. At age 24, I topped the scale nearing 280 pounds (I'm 5'7). On my 24th birthday, I joined Weight Watchers and began walking and running. In less than a year, I dropped 75lbs. Over the next few years, I'd gain and lose--getting down to 158 at my lowest, and now I'm hovering around 180. Like you, I calorie counted to get down to 158 and it was awful. People would ask me what I did to lose the weight (hoping, like you say, I'd found the holy grail of weight loss) and I would get so bitter and mean and reply something snarky like, "I quit eating." Hungry girls are mean girls! I was so deprived that I gave up after a few months and for nearly a year now, I've just been eating whatever. Like you, I have food restrictions--one being that the only meat Ill eat is seafood. It's a challenge to do a high-protein diet when I don't eat A LOT of seafood and I don't feel like eating tons of cottage cheese. Oh, and I LOVE milk--so I your blog on drinking it made me smile! In any case, I worked at the DA too (columnist from 02-03) and my friend Maggie, who also worked for the DA, pointed me to your column. Congratulations on the healthy lifestyle!! I look forward to learning more from you :-)
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